I’m wondering how many today would agree that marriage can be good, really good? What would a marriage look like? And I mean a really good marriage. A really good marriage might look something like this:
First of all, marriage would require two very different people, a union of two becoming one, different backgrounds, different perspectives, different functions, similar, but not the same. The marriage would be filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
In a world where there are billions of people, surely there are many people that one could possibly choose to marry. In a really good marriage, one of the two would initiate the marriage through sacrifice, laying down their life for the other to convince the one they chose to marry of their undying love. It might take time, and patience, and courting, and more patience, and then agreement; No coercion, or dominance, for that would not be a unity of two to become one.
I’m thinking a really good marriage would include a covenant; A contract that would be difficult to break. A marriage that would be difficult to break means that both are “all-in” to the marriage, for better, for worse, in sickness and in health, holding nothing back; Not the thinking that there needs to be a backup plan if the marriage doesn’t work out.
In a really good marriage, there would be a tremendous celebration of the marriage covenant because God himself brought the two together in this new union, and only then would the benefits of marriage begin. For in a really good marriage reputations are protected and there would be no shame. This marriage would last until death parts them.
Surely the marriage would be tested to see if it was genuine, just like iron is tested by fire, and as faith is tested by trials. And both people would be tested; and each would remain faithful to the other. Every day would be a new day to be true to the marriage. There would be faithfulness in the marriage covenant.
A really good marriage would fill the body, mind, soul and spirit (psyche) with really good things. The body and minds of each person would actually be made differently, so that communication between the two would fill one another. A really good marriage will not compete, and not be merely a deep familial bond, but truly energizing relationship. Not taking, but giving. In this marriage, both would be ready to speak truth, ready to give and receive forgiveness.
There would be the absence of evil; the absence of self-centeredness. Neither person would harm the other. Neither would cause pain, no physical abuse, no emotional abuse. Each person would have equality in roles, yet with one responsible to lead. The two would be so close to one another, together, that the two would be one in heart, mind and body.
A really good marriage, would move outside itself; From love expressed in oneness would come the gifts of children and a family without influence or assistance of outside forces. Children are like arrows in the quiver. As love deepens and the two are one, then the love of the two/now one is shared.
Can there be such a marriage? A really good marriage?
Absolutely! By grace. Marriage is designed just like this by God, between a man and a woman even before the fall into sin to reflect the marriage of the Lamb, Jesus Christ and His Church. Marriage this way is good, really good.